Regret comes later... never underestimate your friend..

Sometimes the one who you love turns out to be the one who hurts you the most, and sometimes the friend who takes you into his arms and cries when you cry, turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted...

• 10th grade: As I sat in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so-called 'bestfriend'. I stared at her long silky hair and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that. And I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and I handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy and I don't know why.
• 11th grade: The phone rang, on the other end, it was her. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, and said,"thanks" and gave a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy and I don't know why.
• Senior year: The day before prom, she walked to my locker,"my date is sick". She said,"he's not going to go well, I don't have a date and in 7th grade, we made a promise that neither of us had dates, we would go just as bestfriends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front doorstep. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, she doesn't think about me like that and I know it. Then she said,"I had the best time, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her. But, I'm just too shy and I don't know why.
• Graduation day: A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I want her to be mine, but she doesn't notice me like that and I know it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in smock and hat and cried as I hugged her. She lifted her head from my shoulder and said,"you're my bestfriend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her. But I'm just too shy and I don't know why.
• A few years later: Now I sat in the pews of the church. That girl was getting married now. I watched her said "I do" and drove off to her new life, married to another man. I want her to be mine! But she doesn't notice me like that and I know it. But before she drove away, she said,"you came!". She said,"thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that, I don't want to be just friends, I love her. But I'm just too shy and late and I don't know why.
• Funeral: Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'bestfriend'. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read,"I stared at him, wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that and I know it. I wanted to tell him, I want him to know that, I don't want to be just friends, I love him. But I'm just too shy and I don't know why. I wish he could tell me that he loves me". I wish I did too... I thought to myself, and cried,"I LOVE YOU!".

P/S: not my original story, I got it from a friend of mine who happened to get it from the internet. (:

I miss you - Blink182

this song, I used to like very much.. it always reminds me of certain someone..... ergh!

(I miss you...)

Hello there,

the angel from my nightmare

The shadow in the background of the morgue

The unsuspecting victim

of darkness in the valley

We can live like Jack and Sally if we want

Where you can always find me

We'll have Halloween on Christmas

And in the night we'll wish this never ends

We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you...)(I miss you...)

Where are you and I'm so sorry

I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight

I need somebody and always

This sick strange darkness

Comes creeping on so haunting every time

And as I stared I counted

The webs from all the spiders

Catching things and eating their insides

Like indecision to call you

and hear your voice of treason

Will you come home and stop this pain tonight

Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already

The voice inside my head

(I miss you...)

Don't waste your time on me you're already

The voice inside my head

(I miss you...)[x3]

(I miss you...) [x4]

recipe for love

L.O.V.E

another a little bit of my love life...

okay, let us pick up what has been left out..

my second childhood love was Bahar.. he got transferred to our school during the beginning of the year 2000. I was in primary 5 during the morning session and was in primary 3 during the afternoon session which is the religious lessons.

at first I didn't give him a damn, never had I thought to replace Wafi in my child mind at that time. I only heard this Bahar thing all around me but never got to know who the heck he was. this Bahar was kind of popular, I wondered who he was that made people go crazy about him. it was told to me that he is a brother of my neighbour Mu'iz, but I always knew is that, Mu'iz's brother is a grown-up, an adult, it is very impossible to have Mu'iz's brother to still schooling! and I asked my friend, who happened to admire him, if really his name was Bahar, because from what I know is that Mu'iz's brother's name is Nas, not Bahar! she responsed that his name was Bahar and not Nas, so I beared with it.

I tried to forget everything about this Bahar, but my curiousity burnt and prickled so badly that I needed to know who was this Bahar person, so I peeped through the window to see if there were going to happen that this Bahar showed up, but my work was useless.

on the next day when I came to school in the afternoon, I walked in the pathway procrastinately as it was still early to show up in class. as I walked through the pathway, I saw my friends were hanging around at the end of the pathway, but this one guy with them, I had never seen him before. I got my eyes on him and he got mine too. I fell in love at the first sight for him. I asked one of my friend in that group, and she said, that was him, Bahar.

when I went back home after school, I peeped again to the next door, there he was, just got home from school and got out from the car. funny that I never noticed him throughout these years I have been neighbour to him, how could I had missed him out before?

many stories been revealed about him being a brother to Mu'iz. some people told me that he was a step brother to Mu'iz, while others told me that they were only cousins. what ever it was, I didn't care anymore, my wonder had been answered of him being related to Mu'iz.

fortunately for me, my love got responded by him. he liked me too. he fell for me right on the spot of our first meet, he too, fell in love at first sight like I did, I think. what ever it is, right after the incident that we got to meet each other, we flirted almost everyday through the windows that faced to his house.

I felt a little bit guilty for Wafi because I was afraid that he would think that I still had feelings for him, but when I heard that he already coupled with somebody else which was my bestfriend, so I concentrated on Bahar. I didn't get bothered by my own bestfriend, I was just a kid. for me, if she wanted Wafi, go ahead, but we were going to be still friends.

I don't know whether I ever been in a relationship with Bahar, I mean, we only flirted each other through the windows but never got to talk to each other. there were messengers for us to communicate through, but to hear each other's voices, never happened.

after a few weeks, my cousin Eqqy secretly commanded her brother, Eqarl, to send a letter to Bahar which I happened to accidentally knew about this. that letter was from the same bestfriend that took Wafi to be hers. ergh, what the hell? fighting over for some guy! so I just losing myself to this game. and to inform you all, I am still friends with her, my bestfriend, DD. =D

my third love story will be foretold on the next meet~ adios!

a little bit of my love life...

when it comes to love, I am kind of a little bit too obsess.. meaning to say, yea, I am very, very, very obsessive... it is whether I am a loving person, or just mad?

my love stories(yes, stories) began since when I was just a little girl. I was in primary 3 back then, yea, I should not have included my childhood love, but, this is really where my love life began... it all started when my classmate asked me of whom I like most in class, she meant boys. I thought she was just asking randomly, so I answered, Wafi and Azim. I did not understand anything yet of such foolish things about 'like'. I answered Wafi and Azim was because they were like, you know, smart and having to have the same standard of IQ level and in fact, we were more or less likely to compete with each other in class as to having who would get the best grades.

then, all of the sudden, the story just spread around the class on the next day about me 'liking' Wafi and Azim. I got really blurred about this, I mean, come on, I was just answering the question that had been asked, I meant no harm, or offense or anything which included deep feelings towards those boys..

hearing about the story been told to him, Wafi, who accidentally or secretly 'liked' me 'too', approached me and got near me day by day. his action made me conscious to him always and what's what, I accidentally liked him back! from then on, the relationship between these two classmates bound became a couple of puppy lovers.

our relationship did not last long, as I said, we were just a couple of puppy lovers, but the thing is, we never did break up. it is just that, we did not talked to each other anymore since proceeding to primary 4 where we had to go on our own separate ways. we were no longer classmates anymore, we became total strangers. well, kids, I cannot say more. but, we still had feelings for each other. we could only watched from far noticing that we did not tuned in again when we tried to get to a conversation if we happened to accidentally met each other. but my feelings towards him is not any longer, not when we got promoted to primary 5 which was the next year after we got broke up. my heart was stolen by some boy who had just transferred to our school, in the afternoon session, the religious lessons session.

I'll be continuing about my love stories in the next meet.. till then~

surat cinta untukmu.....

mahal sinta,

sana nangdyan ako para yakapin,

halikan at hawakan kita sa aking sariling kamay araw-araw.

ikaw ang pinaka-magandang bagay na nangyan sa buhay ko.

napapangiti mo ko, isa ka sa mababait.

ito ang pinakamasayang bahaging bahayko,

maraming salamat..

iniibig na iniibig kita!

nangungulila ako sa'yo,

ikaw ang lahat sa akin,

gusto kitang pakasalan,

gusto kong makasama habambuhay!

sinta, paalam..

ingat ka lagi..

sana maganda ang panaginipmo..

iniibig kita! iniibig kita! iniibig kita!

LOVE,

azeemwahsss

XOXO