Regret comes later... never underestimate your friend..

Sometimes the one who you love turns out to be the one who hurts you the most, and sometimes the friend who takes you into his arms and cries when you cry, turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted...

• 10th grade: As I sat in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so-called 'bestfriend'. I stared at her long silky hair and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that. And I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and I handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy and I don't know why.
• 11th grade: The phone rang, on the other end, it was her. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, and said,"thanks" and gave a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy and I don't know why.
• Senior year: The day before prom, she walked to my locker,"my date is sick". She said,"he's not going to go well, I don't have a date and in 7th grade, we made a promise that neither of us had dates, we would go just as bestfriends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front doorstep. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, she doesn't think about me like that and I know it. Then she said,"I had the best time, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her. But, I'm just too shy and I don't know why.
• Graduation day: A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I want her to be mine, but she doesn't notice me like that and I know it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in smock and hat and cried as I hugged her. She lifted her head from my shoulder and said,"you're my bestfriend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her. But I'm just too shy and I don't know why.
• A few years later: Now I sat in the pews of the church. That girl was getting married now. I watched her said "I do" and drove off to her new life, married to another man. I want her to be mine! But she doesn't notice me like that and I know it. But before she drove away, she said,"you came!". She said,"thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that, I don't want to be just friends, I love her. But I'm just too shy and late and I don't know why.
• Funeral: Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'bestfriend'. At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read,"I stared at him, wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that and I know it. I wanted to tell him, I want him to know that, I don't want to be just friends, I love him. But I'm just too shy and I don't know why. I wish he could tell me that he loves me". I wish I did too... I thought to myself, and cried,"I LOVE YOU!".

P/S: not my original story, I got it from a friend of mine who happened to get it from the internet. (:

I miss you - Blink182

this song, I used to like very much.. it always reminds me of certain someone..... ergh!

(I miss you...)

Hello there,

the angel from my nightmare

The shadow in the background of the morgue

The unsuspecting victim

of darkness in the valley

We can live like Jack and Sally if we want

Where you can always find me

We'll have Halloween on Christmas

And in the night we'll wish this never ends

We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you...)(I miss you...)

Where are you and I'm so sorry

I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight

I need somebody and always

This sick strange darkness

Comes creeping on so haunting every time

And as I stared I counted

The webs from all the spiders

Catching things and eating their insides

Like indecision to call you

and hear your voice of treason

Will you come home and stop this pain tonight

Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already

The voice inside my head

(I miss you...)

Don't waste your time on me you're already

The voice inside my head

(I miss you...)[x3]

(I miss you...) [x4]

will I make a good mother?

there have been many thoughts of me being a mother material. but some people, especially my friends that are now I rarely get to meet will never agree to this. well, from what they knew, I was childish myself, a crazy one perhaps. I mean, crazy in good ways. so, believing that I am a mother material in their own perspectives, would be impossible.

yes, I do agree that I used to get along with everyone because of my friendliness and craziness, but that was then. the recent tragedies happened, making me conscious and matured. I can't live the world of teenagers forever. somehow I should stand up and fight for myself. gosh, I got carried away! LOL

so yea, my fond to children has increased recently. and kids, to my surprise, like me for just at one glance. it's like, kids are attracted to me. I don't know why! even Amal once used to say,"napa semua kanak-kanak sukakan si Teh?". it keeps me wondering too.

but I have to tell this, I don't know how did I get to be a loving type, really, I don't know. maybe it's because of the environment that I've been living in for almost a year for now. MTSSR teaches me the true meaning of life. I have been facing alot these days, I always take it as a lesson for myself eventhough it is not regarding with me. packed with this, I learn to love as well, but never did I thought the outcome will change me to a loving person.

so people, is it a sign for me, that I will make a good mother?

am I weird, or just unique?

I just need some confirmation, am I weird or just unique? I really need readers' comments as well as suggestion on improving my defection(it is to me!)...

here are some of my weirdness or uniqueness:

• for malay female(mostly, 97% from my own observation), when wearing skirt of a set of 'baju kurung', it will be wore with its crease(kipas) on the right, but I always wear my skirt with the crease on the left.


• I wear my wristwatches on my right hand.


• I don't eat noodle, just certain.


• I am one that favour black, red and white colours but having most of rainbow-ish stuffs.


• tip-toeing when climbing the stairs.


• every people that I know who are right-handed, when they are holding babies, they use their left arms. however, vice versa for me. I hold babies with my right arms and I am right-handed!


• when I carry things, I carry them with my left hand, emphasizing that I am a right-handed!


• when working on an experiment or a workshop practice, it is instructed that to work in a correct position, according to which we are comfortable with. if you are a right-handed, you work most with your right hands, so stand on the left side of the workstation to make clear aspects of working. but not me, I am a right-handed who works most with my left hand!!! how could that be?

I am telling you, I am not normal. and people like me can be found out there but must be very rare.. so, what am I? weird, or just unique?

8th June 2009

no one wants to age, nobody wants to grow old.. so do I, I think.. I know I'm still 20, but yea, it's like, I just live the life of teenager and now I have already become an adult..

having to hold responsibility in this kind of age makes me feel old. it's the combination of holding responsibility and turning 20 that makes me feel old. at least when I was 19, I could still refer myself as a kid or a teenager. I'm still new here, I haven't got to adapt this kind of environment that is bundled up and being pushed to me at once. I can say I'm struggle to fit in. used to having an easy life, what more can I say to further explain this?

hearing the TEEN in 'nineteen' made me once felt young eventhough that's the last teen that I would ever be. I didn't cherish my teenage so well before, it's not that I didn't appreciate it, it's just that I didn't get to. but I'm thankful to Allah that I wasn't a spoilt teenager back then.

it's my birthday????

gosh,

I don't feel like birthday-ing.. *sigh*

it seems that

I'm getting older year by year..

suk lusa kawin!

ganya alum lagi ada calon...!

same day, different occasion....

I have a confession to make to Nijam and others......

yea, I was dipsh*tly sick masa that 1st June, so yea, I couldn't attend the outing, tapi my sis ni mengidam kan makan ayam BBQ, yata ia minta share belanja untuk bali ayam and lamb... so I did la, we went to Giant dengan keadaanku yang inda berapa beusul untuk membali the stuffs.. udah sampai umah, yata outcomenya ni....

the unplanned BBQ.......

BBQ ala kadar jeee

baby says HI.. =)

aarrghhh!!! jgn gmbar akuuu!!!! aku na beusul kale~~

proses menebalikkan ayam...

BBQ close-up

nyumssss.. *drooling* it looks juicy

still drooling, so mouth-watering

as you can see here, all the pictures taken are all by my niece, Afiqah.. a 5 year old girl..

look the picture below, it's a photo of my sis, look at the asap, lawa kan?? isn't she creative in photography?

last but not least, I wanna share with you guys how to marinade ayam BBQ and kambing BBQ, malay style, recipe Katik......

these pictures below are the ingredients,

ingredients:

sos tiram

sos cili

sos tomato

sos BBQ

madu

garam

ajinamoto

serbuk ketumbar

serbuk jintan manis

serbuk jintan putih

serbuk lada

How to make? Just mixed semua and leave it for about sekurang-kurangnya 30min...

selamat mencuba~~~

dijamin nyaman~ =)

mentality

well, first thing yang pop-out dulu before I could post my blog mestilah the dashboard right? yata yang membari ku mental ni bila meliat yang below:

tu nah blog si dangan ahh.. inda pulang ku marah yang bisdorang makan free, pasal aku andang sedia maklum udah, si Nijam bah yang membelanja kami.. tapi aku inda dapat ikut, sal aku inda baik rasa.. yang ku mentalkan ialah....

tu nah, nyata-nyata bah label logo Excapade Sushi ahhh! mental jua ku tuuu! bukan apa~ pernah ku kan membawa dorang-dorang j*burayamsku ani kan makan sana, tapi ada yang inda mau, salnya inda pandai~~~~ aniii, ergh! mentality ku ih~~~ grrr! huhu.. bah, next time makan di Excapade Sushi eh guys, no excuses!!!! *geram, sebel*

from your voluptuous BFF with lots of love,
azeemwahsss

0010hours

it's nocturnal Tya time~~ =D today is June 1, 2009! the first day of June ler~~ I'm counting the days~ 6 hari again~~ wawawa~~ alright, what happened on the 31st May, which is yesterday? well, nothing special actually.. awal-awalnya I was just blogging, blogging, blogging and blogging.. liat cia berapa ulihku sepanjang hari ani.. but then, udah malam tiba, aku jalan ler ke Giant.. nada intentionku actuallynya kan ke Giant, aku kan ke LaMee.. aku janji udah arah si Abang, my nephew, untuk membawa ia makan di sana sebagai upahku. tapi, tukang supirku ani inda mau ke tempat jauh-jauh, biar cia saja di Giant.. dulur cia saja, lagipun si Abang mau jua.. so, yea, we went to Giant.
di Giant, ada satu tragedy.. si Abang cedera di playground ah! huhu.. cian~~ tuduhnya si Kaka yang tinggalkan ia segala.. biasala kan, kanak-kanak~ okay la, ani saja dulu, kan tidurku.. inda karang ku tebangun awal ari ani.. si Nijam, my bestfriend, kan membawa me and Apesh and if possible, dorang geng-geng kami jalan.. tapi inda tau dimana masalahnya kan dibawanya aku ani.. anak-anak buahku bah kana suruh bawa if kami ke tempat pameran Anniversary ABDB.. cana ah? Nijam ani inda cia jua membalas chatboxku! =s